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Love ('prema') is the experience of happiness through sensation, emotion and thought (body plus mind). Prema happens when seeking or resistance ends. Love happens through the body (sensation or 'indriya' and emotion or 'aavesham') and the mind (thought or 'chinthana') together. Love is psychological; gives you happiness. Love comes from the inner and the outer; still dependent; still dual. Opposite of happiness ('sukham' or 'samthosham') is unhappiness or misery ('dhukkham' or 'shokam'). Ordinary love is a 'give and take situation.' Union or togetherness brings sukham/happiness and separateness brings dhukkham/misery/suffering. Pain is physical or emotional experience and suffering is your point of view about it. It means that one can have pain without having suffering, like a mother giving birth to a baby. Having a tooth pulled might be painful, but could be a relief from suffering. Pain is something you sense and feel, suffering is a label you can put on it.
Compassion ('karuna') is love plus meditation, love plus no-thinking. Compassion happens through the soul, through desirefreeness, through the subtlest feeling ('anubhoothi'). Compassion is divine; gives you joy/peace. Joy ('samthrupthi' or 'shaanthi') is inner and depends only on you but there is still an 'I' that enjoys; still there is a slight element of duality; hidden/dormant duality. Soul or Spiritual Plane is the borderline between Pure Consciousness and duality. Opposite of joy (or Reflected-Consciousness) is ignorance (lack of complete consciousness, 'asamthrupthi' or 'ashaanthi' or 'avidya'). Knowledge/Wisdom brings joy/peace and ignorance brings dissatisfaction/desire. There is only 'giving' in compassion, 'no taking.'
Aananda/Fullness/Completeness ('poorna') is compassion that is Non-Dual, Unconditional. Fullness is permanent and total; inner and outer as one without a second; non-dual. Aananda is uncaused and unbroken ecstasy. Aananda is the knowledge that one is full and complete! Aananda is the knowing of your own being as is; it only knows itself without a second. Aananda is a stateless state in which there is no second. Pure Love is Aananda/Infinity/Fullness/Completeness. Aananda has no opposite word in Sanskrit. Bliss is an erroneous translation for Aananda. Aananda is not a feeling, it is the source or substratum of all feelings just like Pure Consciousness is the substratum of all knowledge. 2+2=4 is true whether in a joyful situation or in a distressed situation. The Aananda born out of knowledge (intellectual+assimilated) is permanent! Aananda that we experience in deep sleep is a feeling that comes and goes, so it is not permanent. That is only Aanandamayakosha from the perspective of the waking state/ego. Intellectual knowledge (for the intellect to shift its identification from the body-mind-soul complex to Pure Awareness) comes from 'shravana' (listening from a guru) and assimilated knowledge (for the soul or spirit or 'chidhaabhaasa' or Reflected-Pure-Consciousness to eliminate all unfulfilled desires stored in the causal body that are coming from all previous lives), comes from 'manana' (contemplation) and 'nidhidhyaasana' (keen attention/observation, dwelling upon the received teaching by meditation and also by the practical proof/understanding of that knowledge in day-to-day life), the three steps of Advaitha Vedantha Methodology. You will not get Aananda and act happily/peacefully ever after, but you are already Aananda and you act happily/peacefully ever after out of Aananda because you, Aananda, are aware before the arrival, during and after the possible departure of happiness/peace that you think you got it as Aananda! So, own up to the fact that you are already this Limitless Aananda, right now!
Sex, love and compassion are the three different ways in three different planes/dimensions through which Aananda can be expressed!
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Sex is bodily (sense) pleasure ('kaama,' desire/passion). Kaama is craving for sense objects. Kaama means acting for lower or separate-self. Kaama is Love for a separate-self - for selfish reasons. 'Kaa'=wanting, 'ma'=for me. Sex is the natural, biological flow of life energy, and the lowest application of it. It is natural because life cannot exist without it, and the lowest because it is the foundation not the peak. When Sex becomes the sole outlet for life energy, then it becomes destructive. Sex is a means only to a peak; it should not become the end. Sex is physical.
The same energy is psychological energy when it flows into the higher, towards the divine. Energy itself is neutral. When Sex becomes suppressed it becomes ugly, diseased, neurotic. It becomes perverted. Sexual energy needs to be transcended. How is it done? Know Sex! Move into Sex consciously. This is the secret to open up a new door. This is the first step. So use Sex as an act of meditation. If you are aware, the act can become a birth for you, a divine birth.
If you have passed through Sex and feel companionship or friendship for the other, then Love develops. Love is not a preface. Love is a flower; Sex is the seed. Love is not before Sex, but after. If this Love develops, it will transcend Sex. When Sex becomes meditation, it flowers into Love ('prema'). That is why Love is the way to divine. Sex is physical; Love is psychological. Love happens through the body (feeling) and mind (thought) together. Prema is higher Love, higher than Sex; affection ('pree'=dear, pleasing; 'ma'=for me; prema=love for expectation). Prema may or may not involve sex. Prema is Love for the other.
You will be surprised to know that the English word `love' comes from a very ugly root in Sanskrit. It comes from 'lobh.' Lobh means greed. And as far as ordinary love is concerned, it is a kind of greed. It is a give and take situation. That's why there are people who love money, there are people who love houses, there are people who love this, who love that. Even if they love a woman or a man, it is simply their greed; they want to possess everything beautiful. There is expectation in the ordinary love.
Now, begin to meditate on Love. This is the second step. In Sex, bodies were meeting; in Love minds are meeting (with or without body). Now, see Love as you have seen Sex. See the communion, the inner meeting, the inner intercourse. Then you will transcend even Love, and you will come to Compassion. Compassion is the communion between you and the whole. Com-passion ('karuna') is passion transformed. Compassion is divine. Compassion is the fragrance. Compassion happens through the soul, through desirelessness. Passion is towards a person or an object for yourself; Love is towards a person or an object for two; Compassion is towards the whole.
Sex is exploitation. The other is reduced to a thing, an ownership. You are superior. It is an 'I-it' relationship. It is only "give me, give me more." Love is an 'I-thou' relationship. The other is respected as an independent person, person in his own right. It is a communion, of sharing or give-and-take. Both are equal in love. Compassion is a 'neither I-nor thou' relationship; two bodies but one soul. A tremendous unity. Compassion is in three rungs: Compassion in the form of Sex or pity is egotism, in Love form it is sympathy (there is still a little distance, you feel for 'others') and in its highest form it is empathy (distance is collapsed, others' feeling is your feeling).
Compassion is a rare gift when a soul not only feels the misery and pain of others but also gets into action to ensure that their pain is reduced. One does not need words to understand the pain of others. A compassionate person can feel it silently and even if no one is crying loudly, he can hear the silent cry of pain and anguish. Sanskrit's 'kara' means to do and 'una' means to alleviate. Karuna is the doing of something to alleviate suffering. There is only giving and giving, no taking. In karuna, the subtlest form of doing is still there. So if Buddha moves from town to town, he does so out of Compassion and not out of Aananda. However, Buddha's method was still rooted in approaching people on an individual basis. He was a master, not a messiah (messiah takes the whole society as one unit).
You are now near home. Now, dig deep into Compassion, be compassionate, experience Compassion and you will explode into Oneness, Poorna. This Oneness is the total, this Oneness is Aananda, this Oneness is ecstasy. Aananda is not a certain special feeling, however, it is the background of all feelings. Deep sleep in itself is Aananda. The peace of deep sleep from the point of view of the waking state is only the reflection of Aananda. When you have that peace, or when you know other as only yourself, in waking state, that is Aananda/Poorna. That's it! So, when Krishna goes to the people he does so out of his Fullness/Aananda and not out of his Compassion. Compassion is not his forte. The root word for Aananda is 'Anantha,' meaning infinity or unending/uncaused happiness.
Love is a common (and an ambiguous) word used for all these stages. The the three stages of Love are: physical love, psychological love and divine love. And when these three stages of Love are transcended, there is the pure spiritual, there is the Fullness/Completeness (Aananda), there is the Pure Love. In Love, sex and compassion are both mixed, the physical and divine are both mixed. Love is midway between Sex and Compassion. Aananda means uncaused, unbroken and conscious ecstasy of fullness. Being unconsciously happy (like a baby whose consciousness is merged in experience) is not Aananda. Experience merging in Complete Consciousness is the condition of Aananda, Consciousness knowing its own being. And when you are full and complete, you are desire-free. Aananda is a desire-free state because it is Brahman.
Aananda is of four kinds/types: 1. 'Vishayaananda'...objective (possessing objects, sex and love; outer; relative), 2. 'Vaasanananda'...subjective but natural (deep sleep and koshaananda; inner; 'vaasana'=fragrance; absolute/total in passive awareness), 3. 'Bhajanaananda'...subjective (compassion, divine love and meditation/samaadhi; inner; 'bhaj'=sharing; absolute/total in active awareness) and 4. 'Aathmaananda'/'Brahmaananda'...beyond object and subject (beyond relative and absolute; beyond inner and outer and Non-Dual; 'bra'=vast). Brahmaananda apparently gives rise to the other Aanandas. It is the background/substratum of all Aanandas. The 'One' in Brahmaananda does not feel the presence of the presence of Aananda and/or the absence of the presence of Aananda.
Sex is the seed, Love is the flower, Compassion is the fragrance, Aananda is total, the substratum for all the feelings. So, do not avoid or oppose sex/love, go through the sex to transcend sex! The physical universe is (seemingly) created for us to transcend. Otherwise, we will never know what transcendence is. We can remain happy, peaceful or blissful, but to remain blissful without knowing what bliss is - is not worth it!
What is the difference between Truth, Love and Beauty?..........
The Ultimate Reality, 'SathChithAananda' – when manifested – becomes perception, thought and feeling (name and form), the three channels of experience corresponding to the three centers of mind: ahamkaara/ego, buddhi/higher-intellect and manas/lower-intellect.
Experiencing/Knowing of Reality through thought is Truth (or Understanding, =Consciousness knowing its own being; Consciousness/Chith Aspect).
Experiencing/Knowing of Reality through feeling is Love (Aananda Aspect).
Experiencing/Knowing of Reality through perception is Beauty (Existence/Sath Aspect).
...Sathyam, Shivam, Sundharam! SathChithAananda, in its purity, is experienced as beauty, truth and love! World appearance will not change for a sage, but the way it is experienced will change. It is experienced as beauty, truth and love. In relation to non-living beings, it is the beauty; in relation to living beings, it is the love; in relation to yourself, it is the truth (being aware of being aware).
Understand means standing-under-you. Anything that you can make stand under you, that is under your thumb, under your power, under your shoe, you are the master of. Mind is to stand-under or yield to or surrender to or dissolve into the one which is higher than the mind, i.e., Awareness. Understanding takes place in Awareness. In Understanding, Awareness is Knowing its own Being. In Understanding, mind is transcended.
Pure Love is the absence of separation; it is the inner joy without the other. Pure Love is not a relationship; it is rather the collapse of relationship. Pure Love shines when the seeking for love/happiness ceases. Pure Love is that which is without condition, without limitation and without need and it seeks to damage or hurt no one! It is the recognition of our shared being. Pure Love is the recognition that the consciousness here and the consciousness there is the same consciousness; the recognition of oneness. Seeing the other in you and seeing you in the other is Pure Love; the observer becomes the observed.
Pure Love is the absence of separation; it is the inner joy without the other. Pure Love is not a relationship; it is rather the collapse of relationship. Pure Love shines when the seeking for love/happiness ceases. Pure Love is that which is without condition, without limitation and without need and it seeks to damage or hurt no one! It is the recognition of our shared being. Pure Love is the recognition that the consciousness here and the consciousness there is the same consciousness; the recognition of oneness. Seeing the other in you and seeing you in the other is Pure Love; the observer becomes the observed.
Rumi: "True lovers never really meet!"
Pure Love is the deep urge to be one with the whole. Because it is without condition, it requires nothing in order to be expressed. It asks nothing in return. It withdraws nothing in retaliation. Because it is without limitation, it places no limitation on another. Pure Love makes no conditions, no ifs, no buts. It knows no ending, but goes on forever. It experiences no boundary or barrier. Because it is without need, it seeks to take nothing not freely given. It seeks to hold nothing not wishing to be held. It seeks to give nothing not joyously welcomed. And it is free. Love without neediness, expectation and jealousy is pure. Pure Love can only bring happiness, peace, fullness.
Love is more of a decision rather than an experience. Your experience is the result of your decision, not the cause of it. This resulting experience of love is total and complete. Love is not quantifiable. One can love in different ways but not to different degrees. You cannot love one person "a little" and love someone else "a lot." You either love someone or you don't. Love means seeing another as Who They Really Are even when they are not acting like it. Love is that which is free, for freedom is the essence of what Reality is; and Love is Reality, expressed.
Buddha: "Love (know) yourself and watch!"
Not to know an apparent other as 'an other' is the experience of Pure Love. Not to know an apparent object as 'an object' is the experience of Beauty. Love, Truth and Beauty are the things by which you are attracted without a cause. Truth, Beauty and Love are not special kinds of experience that are limited to one or two people or objects; they are the nature of all experience. Truth, Love and Beauty are the intrusions of the Infinite into the world.
From the point of view of Awareness or Pure Knowing - which is the only real point of view - all experience is made only of Truth, Beauty and Love. Truth, Beauty and Love are all the same experience; Awareness Knowing itself as it is - Knowing, Being and Loving itself alone. Truth is the absence/collapse of separation with lower-self/ego, love is the absence/collapse of separation with others/selves and beauty is the absence/collapse of separation with objects/nature. The experience as it is - Truth, Love and Beauty - is the dissolution of a separate-self! Mind is not there in that experience. However, it rises later and claims that a person or an object is responsible for that peace/happiness!
How many ways can love be expressed?..........
There are four kinds/types of Pure Love ('Aananda'): 1. Brahmaananda or Aaathmaananda, self-revealing bliss of Knowledge or Awareness (Enlightenment). You are Reality/Brahman and there is nothing other than Reality/Brahman. 2. Bhajanaananda, bliss arising in a calm-and-pure mind when seeking spirituality or in meditation, etc. In this state you are one with Reality but there is still a thin veil of ignorance (you don't know that you, yourself, are that Reality). 3. Vaasanananda, bliss arising in a calm mind when vaasanas (impressions, karmas, desires) are dormant (like in deep sleep; passive non-duality, Aanandamayakosha). In this state you experience Reality directly but you do not know yourself as that Reality. It is induced by nature. 4. Vishayaananda (prathibimbaananda), bliss arising from the gain of a desirable object (happiness) which is intermittent. Vishayaananda can be expressed in several different ways.
The bliss in which there is no experience of duality and which is not deep sleep (or fainting or anesthesia, etc.) - is the bliss of Awareness, Brahmaananda. Brahmaananda apparently gives rise to the other three Aanandas. Brahmaananda is the Original Happiness; Bhajanaananda, Vaasanaananda and Vishayaananda are reflected happiness. Brahmaananda is uncaused, uninterrupted and conscious ecstasy of fullness. It is Aananda itself. It is extremely difficult to jump to Brahmaananda from Vishayaananda without going through Bhajanaananda. Being unknowingly happy (like a baby whose consciousness is merged in objective experience) is not worth it. Experience merging in complete consciousness (knowledge) is the condition of a sage, Brahmaananda. Baby is like someone sleeping on the floor but not knowing that there is a treasure beneath it. And when you are full and complete, you are desire-free. Brahmaananda is a desire-free state because it is Aathma/Self.
Brahmaananda is not in the form of any special experience but is in the form of understanding or knowledge that this Aananda or Fullness/Completeness is my nature!
Aananda/Brahmaananda can be expressed in seven different ways which will define our relationship.
These are loosely defined as Self-Love ('Aathma-prema', Reflected Aananda; I AM; Bhajanaananda and Vaasanaananda fall into this category, there is no 'other' in Self-Love), devotional love ('bhakthi'=love+reverence), romantic love ('shringaara'=love+attachment), erotic/marital love ('prema'=love+attachment), family love ('prema'=love+attachment), friendly love ('maithri' or 'sneha'=love+expectation) and universal love (love for people, love for other beings and love for nature, compassion, 'karuna'). Prema may or may not involve sex. The last six fall into Vishayaananda. These seven "kinds" of love have nothing to do with different "quantities" of love, but different "varieties" of love. And these different varieties produce different feelings, which produce different ways of showering love. The ultimate experience of love is one and the same!
Love can be given in the same amount to everyone, it can be felt just as strongly for a brother as for a wife, or for all humankind. It is not a matter of strength or amount, but of feeling and expression. Love is not a quantity at all, it is a quality. And quality is immeasurable, it is neither small nor great. Whenever somebody says to you, "I love you very greatly," beware! Love is just love; it cannot be less than that, it cannot be more than that. There is no question of less and more. Love is intimate but impersonal. Love is absolute, whereas liking is relative and personal. You love a person but you may not have to like him as a person (you love your self-created dream, but when a tiger attacks you inside your dream you have to protect yourself). Pure love is transcending the experience of duality. It is an expression of oneness, of unity, where there is no separation. "I love you" means "the Reality in me sees the Reality in you." Nothing is more natural than love. If you act lovingly, you will be acting naturally. If you react fearfully, resentfully, angrily, you may be acting normally, but you will never be acting naturally.
Human love, 'bhakthi,' may further be classified into three categories: 1. Love of the means (to an end). 2. Love of an end. 3. Love of the Self. No one loves the end (say, wife) for the end's sake, everybody loves the end (wife) for one's own sake. Therefore if we have to grade: means-love is called 'mandha,' or 'adhama,' end-love is called 'madhyama' and Self-Love is called 'utthama.' So if you love God for means (I want wealth), it is of lower kind (mandha or adhama). If you love God for an end (God=peace, peace is my end), it is of middle kind (madhyama). Utthama bhakthi is the third and a rarer form of love, intense, in which you look upon God as non-different from yourself ("Soham Asmi"). Love of God in the form of mandha/adhama, madhyama and utthama roopa is the first meaning of the word bhakthi. The second meaning of bhakthi is the course of discipline to accomplish the spiritual goal of liberation ('moksha'). This is known as Bhakthi Yoga. Though Bhakthi Yoga is not an exclusive course of discipline, it is the common atmosphere in which all other yogas (such as Karma Yoga, Upaasana Yoga and Gnyaana Yoga) are practiced. It is important in that respect. At no time, a seeker is away from bhakthi.
What is the difference between sex, sexuality, love, and compassion?..........
Man has three layers: the body, the mind and the soul (gross body, subtle body and causal body). So whatever you do, you can do in three ways. Sex is love through the body, sexuality is sex through the mind. Love happens through the body and mind together, compassion happens through the soul. But the energy is the same. Sex is animalistic, love is human, compassion is divine. Sex is physical, love is psychological, compassion is beyond human.
Sex is the seed, love is the flower, compassion is the fragrance. The lowest love is sex and the highest refinement of love is compassion. Compassion is passion transformed. Passion is towards one person; compassion is towards the whole. Sex is below love, compassion is above love - love is exactly in the middle. You can have sex, you can have love, but you cannot have compassion. You can only become compassion, your very being is compassion. Compassion is not a relationship but a state. Buddha has defined compassion as love plus meditation or love plus awareness. When your love is a sharing - then add meditation to it and the pure fragrance of compassion is released.
There is nothing wrong with sex; it is a biological fact. It is the basic, primal energy that the universe is born with. It is natural, sacred, and beautiful. Sex needs to be understood and transcended. It should never be repressed. Repression leads to sexuality which is ugly. Sexuality is unnatural, abnormal, and pathological. Also when sex becomes cerebral, when sex enters in your head, it becomes sexuality. When people go beyond sex - not towards love - but in a negative way towards drugs, it becomes romantic sex. When you think about sex then you fantasize about sex. Since there is no limit to fantasy, it can never satisfy you. Repression and fantasizing are two sides of the same coin.
In love, body and mind meet: you become a unity, more of a unity. It is not only that you desire the other's body, but you desire the other's being - then there is love. When two bodies meet they are separate. But, when two minds meet their boundaries are overlapping. Love is healthy. Love is understanding. You love the person and sex comes as a shadow to it. You love the person so much, your energies meet with the person so deeply, you feel so good by the other's presence, the other's presence is so fulfilling - it completes you.
Love is the center with periphery, sex is the periphery without a center. Sex may or may not happen in love. If it happens, there is no hankering for it, it is just a sharing of energy. With center, the periphery is good. Without the center it becomes sexuality, with center alone it becomes romantic love. When body, mind and soul meet, then you have become a great unity. You have become a trinity. There is no other, you are one. The center is everywhere.
The so-called religious attitude toward sex has created a perverted sexuality, a culture that is completely neurotic sexually. It does not mean that by dropping sex one will achieve the divine. The person who has found diamonds throws the stones he was carrying, but the reverse of this is not true. You can throw away the stones, but that doesn't mean you have achieved something beyond it. Whether you come to sexuality through greed or fear does not matter, it is pathological.
The east has become ill through fear and repression; the west has become ill through greed and negative sex. Accept sex as a natural phenomenon. Sex accepted, understood, respected, lived becomes love. Love coupled with meditation or awareness becomes compassion.
Why is there sexual abuse in the world?..........
There is so much sexual abuse in the world because there is so much sexual repression in the world.
Humans have been taught from the time they were young to be ashamed of their body parts and to be embarrassed or guilty about their sexuality. It is also this idea that sexual abstinence is somehow the “higher way,” and that sexual expression is a “lower desire,” that has shamed the sexual experience, and caused all manner of guilt and dysfunction to develop around it. The result is that millions of people have sexual hang-ups that are awful.
Who is responsible for the repression? The society, the culture, the religion - they have been trying to keep men and women apart. They are pouring poison into the minds of human beings. More love can be seen in the birds, animals, and plants, who have no religion or culture, than in humans.
When religions proclaim that sex is unsacred and hence it has to be controlled by ones’ own effort, it is suppressed. Fear creates suppression and suppression creates fear. They feed off each other. Religions have exploited the fear of sex and they have made you more afraid. When one is afraid, he can easily be manipulated; that is very fundamental. This is the reason why religions use 'death' also as a fear to manipulate people. It all comes down to the tool of 'fear,'
Religions say that it is wrong, it is ugly, it is sin, and it will drag you to hell. They want to dominate you; that's why they are against sex. This way you remain ignorant about your true nature and can easily be controlled by the religions. They have made sex the basic sin and they say: Unless sex disappears, you will not be able to reach Reality. They are right, in a sense, and still wrong.
When we suppress an emotion, the energy of that emotion does not go away. Instead, it subsides -- it sinks deeper. If you hold enough of this stuff inside you, then you become energetically "stuffed up." Energy moves within the body in regular currents and beyond the body in radiant fields. As emotional suppression becomes an unconscious habit and emotional energy becomes stuffed inside, the free movement of vital energy gradually degrades.
This creates imbalance in your being. Suppression ultimately makes it to come out many times more intensely, like an obsession. Thus, people are more neurotic and perverted with anger, aggression, crime, etc. This is because it is the same energy that has taken an alternate manifestation due to centuries of suppression.
Sex should be accepted as a normal, natural thing in life - just as sleep, as hunger, as everything else. Sex is life energy. What you do with it depends on you. It can become sin, and it can become Reality. But the first principle is not to condemn sex. The moment you condemn anything, you cannot use it. Join sex with meditation. Sex without meditation can only reproduce children. Sex with meditation can give you love, can give you a new birth.
It is true that unless sex disappears you will not be able to reach Reality; but sex disappears only when you have accepted it totally - not suppressed, but transformed. Sex disappears only when you are inimical to sex. When one moves deeply into sex with meditation, the ego will be lost and you will become more and more aware. Then you can know the truth; no one will be able to control or manipulate you.
What is the difference between sex and meditation?..........
Now the most important meaning of sex has to be understood. Man had his first ever glimpse of 'samaadhi,' of meditation, only in moments of lovemaking-nowhere else. It was only in moments of lovemaking that human beings realized for the first time that so much Aananda was possible. Those who meditated on this truth, those who reflected deeply upon the phenomenon of sex, of lovemaking, saw that in moments of lovemaking, at the climax, the mind becomes empty of thoughts. For a moment, all thoughts disappear. This emptiness of the mind, this disappearance of thoughts, is the cause of the showering of Divine Fullness. They had discovered the secret.
Is it necessary to give up sex for spirituality?..........
Renouncing any part of yourself is denying an aspect of yourself that Reality has created.
Sex - and the beauty of sex, and the passion of sex, and the excitement of sex, and the wonder of sex, and the pure, unbridled joy and fun of sex - is something that Reality has given us. The purpose of sex is to share love and to celebrate life. A celebration is always a contribution, contribution of joy, contribution of hurting no one. Renouncing sex is to renounce Reality.
Therefore do not renounce sex, nor any of the good and wonderful and fun things that Reality has given us. Simply renounce any addiction you may have to these wonderful things in life. This is different from a requirement to live without them.
We hate violence, but EXpress violence by watching violent movies, by playing violent games, etc. We love sex, but REpress sexuality by not allowing anything romantic! What kind of choice is this?!
So you do not have to give up sex for spiritual growth. Not in the classic sense of the words “to give up.” It is not a forced letting go of something you still want but know is “no good to have.” It’s more of a simple releasing, a movement away from—as one pushes one-self away from the second helping of dessert. Not because the dessert is no good. Not even because it’s no good for you. But simply because, wonderful as it was, you’ve had enough.
When you can drop your involvement with sex for that reason, you may want to do
so. Then again, you may not. You may never decide that you’ve “had enough” and may always want this experience, in balance with the other experiences of your beingness. The sexually active are no less qualified for enlightenment, no less spiritually evolved, than the sexually inactive. What enlightenment and evolution do cause you to drop is your addiction to sex, your deep need to have the experience, your compulsive behavior.
Therefore, do not renounce sex; renounce sex-ness, your addiction/obsession for sex!
What is celibacy?..........
Celibacy is the transformed state of sex. If sex is the coal, celibacy is the diamond. The diamond does not have any enmity with the coal, it is only a transformation of the coal. It is a journey of the coal into a new dimension. Similarly, celibacy is not in opposition to sex, it is a transformation of sex. One who is inimical to sex can never attain to celibacy.
The term for celibacy in Sankrit is 'brahmacharya.' This word is really very difficult to translate. It has been translated as sexual continence, celibacy. That’s not right, because brahmacharya is a wide word, very vast. Sexual celibacy is a very narrow thing; it is one part of it but not the whole of it. The word brahmacharya means living like Reality, living like Brahman. The very word means living like Reality, living a life of the divine. Of course, in a life divine, sex automatically disappears.
Brahmacharya is not against sex. If it is against sex then sex can never disappear. Brahmacharya is a transmutation of the energy: it is not being against sex, rather it is changing the whole energy from the sex center to the higher centers. When it reaches to the seventh chakra center of man, the sahasraara, then brahmacharya happens. If it remains in the first center, the mulaadhaara, then sex; when it reaches to the seventh center, then samaadhi. The same energy moves. It is not being against it; rather, it is an art how to use it. A man who is indulging in sex is a suicidal man. He is destroying his own energy. He is like a man who goes to the market, gives his diamonds, and purchases pebbles – and comes home happy that he has made a great bargain! In sex you attain such a little, a tiny moment of happiness, and you lose so much energy. The same energy can give you tremendous blissfulness, but then it has to move on a higher level.
Sex has to be transformed - don't be against it. If you are against it you cannot transform it, because when you are inimical towards something you cannot understand it. Great sympathy is needed for understanding. If you are inimical, how can you give sympathy? When you are inimical to something, you cannot even observe it: you want to withdraw from your enemy, to escape from the enemy. No...be in friendship with your sex, because it is your energy with tremendous possibilities hidden in it. It is divine, in raw form. Sex is samaadhi, in raw form. It can be transmuted, it can be changed, it can be transfigured.
Sexual energy is as electrical as any energy. All energies are electrical, and sex energy is bioelectricity. It comes out of your body. In sex you create energy; by the sexual movement, fantasy, desire, you create energy. The whole energy moves around the mulaadhaara chakra, the sex center, concentrates there; then comes a peak, a buildup; then sudden explosion, a shock all over the body. Then peace follows. This peace is at a very great cost. You are destroying valuable life energy – for nothing.
Brahmacharya is to understand the whole phenomenon, what is happening. And if by shocks you become peaceful and you attain a little glimpse of happiness...this cannot be eternal. It can only be momentary. And soon the energy will be lost and then you will be frustrated. No, something else has to be found and discovered, something of the eternal, something so that you remain blissful. It cannot be through the shock; it can be only through the transmutation of the energy.
Sex is the flow of energy downward, celibacy is its upward journey. Love and meditation are the key to celibacy, brahmacharya. Those who have done research on sex have come to the conclusion that if orgasm lasts for one minute, a person will desire sex again the very next day, but if orgasm can be prolonged for seven minutes, the person will not even think of sex for a whole three months. And if the period can be extended to three hours, one will be free of sex forever; one will be celibate. Sex may still happen after that, but there is no hankering or obsession for it. It would be all natural and spontaneous.
The faster one's breathing during intercourse, the shorter the duration of it; the calmer and more relaxed one's breathing, the longer the duration of the intercourse. If you can come to a totally relaxed breathing, the duration of intercourse can be prolonged to any extent. And the longer intercourse lasts, the more the experience of the elements of superconsciousness - the egolessness and timelessness - begin to take place. Another thing to remember, if during the act of intercourse your awareness is focused between the eyes, where yoga says the third eye center is, the duration of lovemaking can be extended up to three hours!
Once sex has served the function of procreation, is there any more need for it?..........
One does not engage in sex because one realizes one’s responsibility to the human race to procreate. One engages in sex because it is the natural thing to do. It is built into the genes. Procreation is the happy aftereffect, not the logical forethought. Sex is for recreation (to re-create Who You Are), not for procreation!
You obey a biological imperative. The biological imperative is not to guarantee the survival of the species, but to experience the Oneness which is the true nature of your being. Creating new life is what happens when Oneness is achieved, but it is not the reason Oneness is sought.
If procreation were the only reason for sexual expression—if it were nothing more than a
'delivery system'—you would no longer need to engage in it with one another. You can unite
the chemical elements of life in a petri dish. Yet this would not satisfy the most basic urges of the soul, which it turns out, are much larger than mere procreation, but have to do with re-creation of Who and What You Really Are.
There is nothing ignoble, or unholy, about having sex. We have got to get that idea out of our minds, and out of your culture. There is nothing base, or gross, or 'less than dignified' (much less sanctified), about a passionate, desire-filled sexual experience. Physical urges are not manifestations of 'animalistic behavior.' Those physical urges were built into the system—by Nature, by Reality.
Remember, you are a three aspect being (body-mind-soul), with seven chakra centers. When you respond to one another from all three parts, and all seven centers, at the same time, then you have the peak experience you are looking for—that you have been created for! Whatever you are doing—having sex or having breakfast, going to work or walking the beach, jumping rope or reading a good book—whatever you are doing, do it as a whole being; as the whole being you are.
If you are having sex from only your lower chakra center, you are operating from the root
chakra alone, and missing by far the most glorious part of the experience. Yet if you are
being loving with another person and coming from all seven energy centers while you are
being that, now you are having a peak experience. How can this not be holy?
The biological imperative (for sex) is not to create more life, but to experience more life—and to experience that life as it really is: a manifestation of Oneness. That is why you will never stop people from having sex, even though they have long ago stopped having children.
Is consensual sex appropriate?..........
There is no form and there is no manner in which the expression of love that is pure and true is inappropriate. Any form of expression of pure love is not inappropriate!
Pure and true love is that which is without condition, without limitation, without need and it seeks to damage or hurt no one. If you love another, you will not do anything that you believe could or would hurt that person. If there is any question or doubt, ask yourself “What would love do now?”
How about “kinky” sex? Well, if it hurts no one, and is done with everyone’s permission, what reason would anyone have to call it “wrong?" If you are open, honest and truthful about a polygamous relationship - it is certainly an expression of joy and freedom.
How about "loveless" sex? Loveless anything is not the fastest way to Reality. Whether it's loveless sex or loveless spaghetti and meat balls, if you’ve prepared the feast and are consuming it without love, you’re missing the most extraordinary part of the experience.
Do not choose sex instead of love, but as a celebration of it. What does not serve you is to become addicted to sex (or anything else). But it is “okay” to fall in love with it. What enlightenment and evolution do cause you to drop is your addiction to sex, your deep need to have the experience, your compulsive behavior.
What is the difference between pleasure, happiness, peace, joy and Aananda?..........
Pleasure is physiological and is dependent on the other. It is the most superficial thing in life. Pleasure is rooted in your body. The body is your periphery; it is not your center. Since it is dependent on the other, you have created a bondage for yourself. Pleasure is periphery without a center. The opposite of pleasure is pain.
Happiness is psychological. It is little more refined. Pleasure is little primitive, animalistic; happiness is little more cultured, little more human - but it is the same game played in the world of the mind.
When you are happy, time moves fast. But remember: happiness is still in duality, happiness is still part of unhappiness. Happiness is worthless: Happiness depends on unhappiness. Happiness has no truth about it; it is only your dream. Your happiness is your idiosyncrasy; it may be unhappiness to somebody else. To somebody power is happiness; to somebody money is happiness; to somebody sex is happiness. It depends. Happiness is the center without periphery.
Peace is another name for happiness. Peace is happiness at rest; happiness is peace in movement. Happiness uninterrupted is peace. Happiness is the first ebullition or sensation of peace.
Joy is divine. It belongs to the heart. It has nothing to do with the other; it is inner. Joy is not dependent on circumstances; it is your own, but is still in duality. There is a 'I' that enjoys; subtlest form of being is still there. So if Buddha moves from town to town, he does so out of joy and not out of Aananda. It is a state of silence, a meditative state. Joy is the center with periphery. The opposite of joy (or consciousness) is ignorance. The joy of soul is to manifest Reality.
Aananda is permanent and total; inner and outer. Aananda can be defined as consciousness becoming aware of itself. When the innermost being and the outer behavior are in perfect harmony, then there is Aananda. It knows no division, it is indivisible. Aananda has no opposite. When Krishna goes to the people he does so out of his Aananda and not out of Compassion. Compassion is not his forte.
Aananda is the stateless state in which there is no second!
Aananda means you have reached to the very innermost core of your being; you have (your ego has) disappeared. Aananda is a state of being; it is ecstasy without excitement; it is ecstasy that is uncaused. Aananda is the center that is everywhere or nowhere in particular. Pleasure is momentary while Aananda is non-temporal or timeless. Aananda can only be experienced by being it, but can never be explained.
Pleasure and happiness begin and end. They have counterparts - pain and unhappiness. You cannot have one without having the other, they are inseparable. Sex is pleasure, love is happiness. Love can exist without sex, sex can exist without love. They can also exist together. Sex is in-built, love has to be evolved. You have to learn love, it is an art. Love is a luxury.
Animals, birds cannot have a taste of happiness; that is man's prerogative. Birds chirping, chitchatting is simply aliveness - overflowing of energy. They are simply happy because that is all they know. They cannot be unhappy. Their happiness is not their freedom - they have to be happy. They do not have a choice over happiness or unhappiness. They don't know how to be unhappy; there is no alternative. Their happiness is unconscious. It is simply natural.
If you go on watching the duality - pleasure and pain, happiness and unhappiness - a third force arises in you, a third dimension arises in you. It is called the witness, the saakshi. And this third dimension brings you joy.
Joy without duality is Aananda. Aananda is without any opposite to it. It is serene, tranquil, cool. Aananda abides forever. It is our nature.
Why is inner peace more important than the outer heaven?..........
One can experience heaven in the outer world only when one has attained peace in the inner world. You cannot experience heaven in the outer world when you experience hell in your inner world. Yes, it is possible to attain peace in the inner world, when there is hell in the outer world. It is interesting to know that once you attain peace in the inner world, the hell in the outer world no more feels like hell. On the other hand, if you attain heaven in the outer world, while there is hell in your inner world, the heaven in the outer world does not feel like heaven!
What is pity and what is compassion?..........
Pity is passion directed. Compassion is passion transformed; compassion is open, it is simply overflowing. Pity is circumstantial, and compassion is the outcome of a psychological state. They are fundamentally different. Compassion will go on emanating from the heart of a compassionate person even if he is sitting alone. It is like a flower blossoming in solitude; it will go on spreading its fragrance. It has nothing to do with any passerby. What arises in you when you see a beggar on the streets is pity; it is not compassion. Pity strengthens the ego whereas compassion dissolves it. Pity is the act of a good man's ego and cruelty is the act of a bad man's ego.
Ego strengthens itself with bad acts as well as good acts. And it often happens that only when the ego has had no opportunity to strengthen itself with good acts that it tries to nourish itself with bad acts. Both good people and bad people are tethered to the same axis called the ego. The only difference between the "good" and "bad" people is that the bad person will hurt others to fulfill his ego and the good person will hurt himself to fulfill his ego. But as far as hurting is concerned, there is no difference between the two.
Is Thanthra against Vedantha?..........
What is Thanthra? Thanthra is a technique, and the most natural, to experience the bliss of Reality through body, through sex, through love (Sanskrit's meaning: 'thun'=to expand, 'thra'=instrument; body used as an instrument to expand or realize the infinite nature; thanthra also means a system or methodology or scripture or word or strategy in Sanskrit). The objective in Thanthra is to become so completely instinctual, so mindless, that we merge with ultimate nature - that the woman disappears and becomes a door for the ultimate, the man disappears and becomes a door for the ultimate. You are first your body. Thanthra teaches reverence for the body, love for the body, respect for the body, gratitude for the body. The body is marvelous, it is the greatest of mysteries.
Pure Love is the deep urge to be one with the whole. Because it is without condition, it requires nothing in order to be expressed. It asks nothing in return. It withdraws nothing in retaliation. Because it is without limitation, it places no limitation on another. Pure Love makes no conditions, no ifs, no buts. It knows no ending, but goes on forever. It experiences no boundary or barrier. Because it is without need, it seeks to take nothing not freely given. It seeks to hold nothing not wishing to be held. It seeks to give nothing not joyously welcomed. And it is free. Love without neediness, expectation and jealousy is pure. Pure Love can only bring happiness, peace, fullness.
Love is more of a decision rather than an experience. Your experience is the result of your decision, not the cause of it. This resulting experience of love is total and complete. Love is not quantifiable. One can love in different ways but not to different degrees. You cannot love one person "a little" and love someone else "a lot." You either love someone or you don't. Love means seeing another as Who They Really Are even when they are not acting like it. Love is that which is free, for freedom is the essence of what Reality is; and Love is Reality, expressed.
Buddha: "Love (know) yourself and watch!"
Not to know an apparent other as 'an other' is the experience of Pure Love. Not to know an apparent object as 'an object' is the experience of Beauty. Love, Truth and Beauty are the things by which you are attracted without a cause. Truth, Beauty and Love are not special kinds of experience that are limited to one or two people or objects; they are the nature of all experience. Truth, Love and Beauty are the intrusions of the Infinite into the world.
From the point of view of Awareness or Pure Knowing - which is the only real point of view - all experience is made only of Truth, Beauty and Love. Truth, Beauty and Love are all the same experience; Awareness Knowing itself as it is - Knowing, Being and Loving itself alone. Truth is the absence/collapse of separation with lower-self/ego, love is the absence/collapse of separation with others/selves and beauty is the absence/collapse of separation with objects/nature. The experience as it is - Truth, Love and Beauty - is the dissolution of a separate-self! Mind is not there in that experience. However, it rises later and claims that a person or an object is responsible for that peace/happiness!
How many ways can love be expressed?..........
There are four kinds/types of Pure Love ('Aananda'): 1. Brahmaananda or Aaathmaananda, self-revealing bliss of Knowledge or Awareness (Enlightenment). You are Reality/Brahman and there is nothing other than Reality/Brahman. 2. Bhajanaananda, bliss arising in a calm-and-pure mind when seeking spirituality or in meditation, etc. In this state you are one with Reality but there is still a thin veil of ignorance (you don't know that you, yourself, are that Reality). 3. Vaasanananda, bliss arising in a calm mind when vaasanas (impressions, karmas, desires) are dormant (like in deep sleep; passive non-duality, Aanandamayakosha). In this state you experience Reality directly but you do not know yourself as that Reality. It is induced by nature. 4. Vishayaananda (prathibimbaananda), bliss arising from the gain of a desirable object (happiness) which is intermittent. Vishayaananda can be expressed in several different ways.
The bliss in which there is no experience of duality and which is not deep sleep (or fainting or anesthesia, etc.) - is the bliss of Awareness, Brahmaananda. Brahmaananda apparently gives rise to the other three Aanandas. Brahmaananda is the Original Happiness; Bhajanaananda, Vaasanaananda and Vishayaananda are reflected happiness. Brahmaananda is uncaused, uninterrupted and conscious ecstasy of fullness. It is Aananda itself. It is extremely difficult to jump to Brahmaananda from Vishayaananda without going through Bhajanaananda. Being unknowingly happy (like a baby whose consciousness is merged in objective experience) is not worth it. Experience merging in complete consciousness (knowledge) is the condition of a sage, Brahmaananda. Baby is like someone sleeping on the floor but not knowing that there is a treasure beneath it. And when you are full and complete, you are desire-free. Brahmaananda is a desire-free state because it is Aathma/Self.
Brahmaananda is not in the form of any special experience but is in the form of understanding or knowledge that this Aananda or Fullness/Completeness is my nature!
Aananda/Brahmaananda can be expressed in seven different ways which will define our relationship.
These are loosely defined as Self-Love ('Aathma-prema', Reflected Aananda; I AM; Bhajanaananda and Vaasanaananda fall into this category, there is no 'other' in Self-Love), devotional love ('bhakthi'=love+reverence), romantic love ('shringaara'=love+attachment), erotic/marital love ('prema'=love+attachment), family love ('prema'=love+attachment), friendly love ('maithri' or 'sneha'=love+expectation) and universal love (love for people, love for other beings and love for nature, compassion, 'karuna'). Prema may or may not involve sex. The last six fall into Vishayaananda. These seven "kinds" of love have nothing to do with different "quantities" of love, but different "varieties" of love. And these different varieties produce different feelings, which produce different ways of showering love. The ultimate experience of love is one and the same!
Love can be given in the same amount to everyone, it can be felt just as strongly for a brother as for a wife, or for all humankind. It is not a matter of strength or amount, but of feeling and expression. Love is not a quantity at all, it is a quality. And quality is immeasurable, it is neither small nor great. Whenever somebody says to you, "I love you very greatly," beware! Love is just love; it cannot be less than that, it cannot be more than that. There is no question of less and more. Love is intimate but impersonal. Love is absolute, whereas liking is relative and personal. You love a person but you may not have to like him as a person (you love your self-created dream, but when a tiger attacks you inside your dream you have to protect yourself). Pure love is transcending the experience of duality. It is an expression of oneness, of unity, where there is no separation. "I love you" means "the Reality in me sees the Reality in you." Nothing is more natural than love. If you act lovingly, you will be acting naturally. If you react fearfully, resentfully, angrily, you may be acting normally, but you will never be acting naturally.
Human love, 'bhakthi,' may further be classified into three categories: 1. Love of the means (to an end). 2. Love of an end. 3. Love of the Self. No one loves the end (say, wife) for the end's sake, everybody loves the end (wife) for one's own sake. Therefore if we have to grade: means-love is called 'mandha,' or 'adhama,' end-love is called 'madhyama' and Self-Love is called 'utthama.' So if you love God for means (I want wealth), it is of lower kind (mandha or adhama). If you love God for an end (God=peace, peace is my end), it is of middle kind (madhyama). Utthama bhakthi is the third and a rarer form of love, intense, in which you look upon God as non-different from yourself ("Soham Asmi"). Love of God in the form of mandha/adhama, madhyama and utthama roopa is the first meaning of the word bhakthi. The second meaning of bhakthi is the course of discipline to accomplish the spiritual goal of liberation ('moksha'). This is known as Bhakthi Yoga. Though Bhakthi Yoga is not an exclusive course of discipline, it is the common atmosphere in which all other yogas (such as Karma Yoga, Upaasana Yoga and Gnyaana Yoga) are practiced. It is important in that respect. At no time, a seeker is away from bhakthi.
Since Aananda is total, it is the background of all emotions ('aaveshas'): 1. Grief/Sadness ('shokam'), 2. Anger ('rowdhram'), 3, Envy ('asuya'), 4. Fear ('bhayam') and 5. Love ('prema') - the five natural emotions. And their unnatural counterparts when the natural emotions are repressed, are: 1. Depression ('maandyam'), 2. Rage ('bheebhathsam'), 3. Jealousy ('maathsarya'), 4. Panic ('bheethi') and 5. Greed ('lobha'). Hindu tradition recognizes the following nine emotions ('nava rasas'): 1. Beauty/Love ('shringaara'), 2. Laughter ('haasya'), 3. Disgust/Rage ('bheebhathsa'), 4. Anger ('rowdhra'), 5. Serenity/Peace ('shaantha'), 6. Heroism/Courage ('veera'), 7. Fear ('bhaya'), 8. Compassion/Love ('karuna'), and 9. Wonder/Surprise ('adhbhutha').
The highest form of love is the love for Self. All other forms of love emanate from this. Love for Self is fundamental. Essentially we love everything or anything else only because we love our selves. I love 'this' only because 'this' that I love gives me happiness! To be truly loved means to give our whole self to the object of our love at all times. We cannot give ourselves completely to something that is intermittent. There are no true objects of love because all objects are intermittent. Only Consciousness is ever-present and therefore, Consciousness merits true love. And what could give Consciousness this love? Obviously an intermittent object such as a body or a mind cannot render love to something that is ever-present when it (itself) is not. Therefore only Consciousness is able to impart this love to itself. That is Self-Love or Aananda!
When Consciousness only Knows itself by Being itself, nothing else is there to resist. The absence of resistance/limitation/separation is the experience of Infinity/Limitlessness or Self-Love.
When you love an object, the object is outside and the love is inside you. They can never meet, as they are. The contact is established inside, where the gross object is represented by its subtle form or thought. So the real contact is only between your own thought and your own feeling. Hence it comes to mean that you love only yourself, always.
If you do not love yourself, you cannot love anyone else or anything else. If you think you are loving someone else for his/her sake, you are mistaken. It will simply be an ego trip. Both a sage and an ignorant give in charity to the poor but the latter gives because he believes in duality and regards the poor as another person, whereas a sage gives because he regards the poor as himself. A sage is not concerned about the other, it is natural for him to help/share. It is just by the way. The sage shares to unburden himself.
The medium used for knowing is being imposed on all that is to be known through that medium. In other words, Consciousness and/or any instrument perceives only itself in its own medium. Sense organs perceive only perceptions in and through their own limited media of sensations (eyes cannot hear; the field of sensations is also limited to certain range). Knowledge/mind knows only knowledge/mind through its own limited medium of thoughts and feelings. Similarly, Consciousness knows only Consciousness; and love loves only love. In short, the instrument/medium utilized is itself perceived by the instrument/medium. The only way a plane of reality can be transgressed/transcended into another is by losing its identity to the higher plane! An effect is a grossified cause. An effect can, therefore, never illumine its cause. So also, you see only yourself in others. Know yourself as love, you will then see love everywhere and in everything!
St. Augustine: "Love (yourself) and do what thou wilt!"
What is the test of Pure Love?..........
The first test of Pure Love is that it knows no bargaining. The second test is that Love knows no fear. The third is a still higher test. Love is always the highest ideal. To the lover the beloved is the most truthful, loving and beautiful being that ever existed.
How to destroy hate?..........
It is a usual occurrence in worldly life that you love someone when he loves you and that you hate him when he hates you. Looking at it more closely, you see that your response was dictated purely by the other’s feelings alone. Therefore, you should also direct your feelings not to him, but only to his feelings. So you should hate the hate in him; or hate hating, wherever it be (but not the person).
Therefore naturally, you should hate the hate in you first. When that is done, a miracle happens! You will cease to hate anyone else! You can deal effectively with all feelings in this way.
What is the first step you take to moving to a place of love for everyone?..........
The first step in moving to a place of love for everyone - including your "enemies" - is to move to a place of love for yourself! You cannot give to another what you cannot give to yourself. You cannot give to anyone what you do not have to give. Therefore, love, love, love your Self. See your Self as perfect - just the way you are. This is how Reality sees you.
As an example...Your experience of losing your wife had nothing to do with you. It was just Eeshwara (Creator) taking back what it had given. She was not given to the world to make you happy. She came to work out her karma. When it was done, she left. You were very attached to her and you are still attached. She lives as an idea in your mind. You suffer because you believe that you need someone else to make you complete, not because she is gone. To heal, you need to see that this is not true. You need to forgive yourself for believing that you can only love yourself when someone else loves you. It is wonderful when someone loves us but only because it awakens the Self, which is love. She was only a catalyst to get you in touch with the love that you are. This kind of object-dependent love is totally insecure because you have no control over the object and its karma. So to heal, you have to find the love that you are. (If you cannot see how you are creating this misery and love yourself, then at least find someone else to love. Your wife is not the only person who is lovable.) This is the ‘shift’ or the ‘jump’ that you want. But there is no easy way out of this, no experience you can have that will set you free of the need for a love object. To get free see that you are worthy of love. You need to investigate yourself and see if you really do need someone else to love you. Not at all, love is your nature. You are love yourself!
Knowing this will change your life. Believing it, will change everyone else's. That's because what you believe, you become, and when you become perfectly Self-Loving, you bring your Self, at last, the equipment (or tool) with which you can love all others, and that can change the world. In the experience of love/peace the mind dies. There is neither enjoyer nor enjoyed in it. There is only love/peace/happiness. It is an ego-free state. You are not getting peace/happiness by loving all, but loving all is itself peace/happiness. A humanitarian worker emphasizes the ‘all’ and misses love/peace; a Vedanthin emphasizes love/peace, his own nature, and misses or loses the ‘all' or the multiplicity!
The highest form of love is the love for Self. All other forms of love emanate from this. Love for Self is fundamental. Essentially we love everything or anything else only because we love our selves. I love 'this' only because 'this' that I love gives me happiness! To be truly loved means to give our whole self to the object of our love at all times. We cannot give ourselves completely to something that is intermittent. There are no true objects of love because all objects are intermittent. Only Consciousness is ever-present and therefore, Consciousness merits true love. And what could give Consciousness this love? Obviously an intermittent object such as a body or a mind cannot render love to something that is ever-present when it (itself) is not. Therefore only Consciousness is able to impart this love to itself. That is Self-Love or Aananda!
When Consciousness only Knows itself by Being itself, nothing else is there to resist. The absence of resistance/limitation/separation is the experience of Infinity/Limitlessness or Self-Love.
When you love an object, the object is outside and the love is inside you. They can never meet, as they are. The contact is established inside, where the gross object is represented by its subtle form or thought. So the real contact is only between your own thought and your own feeling. Hence it comes to mean that you love only yourself, always.
If you do not love yourself, you cannot love anyone else or anything else. If you think you are loving someone else for his/her sake, you are mistaken. It will simply be an ego trip. Both a sage and an ignorant give in charity to the poor but the latter gives because he believes in duality and regards the poor as another person, whereas a sage gives because he regards the poor as himself. A sage is not concerned about the other, it is natural for him to help/share. It is just by the way. The sage shares to unburden himself.
The medium used for knowing is being imposed on all that is to be known through that medium. In other words, Consciousness and/or any instrument perceives only itself in its own medium. Sense organs perceive only perceptions in and through their own limited media of sensations (eyes cannot hear; the field of sensations is also limited to certain range). Knowledge/mind knows only knowledge/mind through its own limited medium of thoughts and feelings. Similarly, Consciousness knows only Consciousness; and love loves only love. In short, the instrument/medium utilized is itself perceived by the instrument/medium. The only way a plane of reality can be transgressed/transcended into another is by losing its identity to the higher plane! An effect is a grossified cause. An effect can, therefore, never illumine its cause. So also, you see only yourself in others. Know yourself as love, you will then see love everywhere and in everything!
St. Augustine: "Love (yourself) and do what thou wilt!"
What is the test of Pure Love?..........
The first test of Pure Love is that it knows no bargaining. The second test is that Love knows no fear. The third is a still higher test. Love is always the highest ideal. To the lover the beloved is the most truthful, loving and beautiful being that ever existed.
How to destroy hate?..........
It is a usual occurrence in worldly life that you love someone when he loves you and that you hate him when he hates you. Looking at it more closely, you see that your response was dictated purely by the other’s feelings alone. Therefore, you should also direct your feelings not to him, but only to his feelings. So you should hate the hate in him; or hate hating, wherever it be (but not the person).
Therefore naturally, you should hate the hate in you first. When that is done, a miracle happens! You will cease to hate anyone else! You can deal effectively with all feelings in this way.
What is the first step you take to moving to a place of love for everyone?..........
The first step in moving to a place of love for everyone - including your "enemies" - is to move to a place of love for yourself! You cannot give to another what you cannot give to yourself. You cannot give to anyone what you do not have to give. Therefore, love, love, love your Self. See your Self as perfect - just the way you are. This is how Reality sees you.
As an example...Your experience of losing your wife had nothing to do with you. It was just Eeshwara (Creator) taking back what it had given. She was not given to the world to make you happy. She came to work out her karma. When it was done, she left. You were very attached to her and you are still attached. She lives as an idea in your mind. You suffer because you believe that you need someone else to make you complete, not because she is gone. To heal, you need to see that this is not true. You need to forgive yourself for believing that you can only love yourself when someone else loves you. It is wonderful when someone loves us but only because it awakens the Self, which is love. She was only a catalyst to get you in touch with the love that you are. This kind of object-dependent love is totally insecure because you have no control over the object and its karma. So to heal, you have to find the love that you are. (If you cannot see how you are creating this misery and love yourself, then at least find someone else to love. Your wife is not the only person who is lovable.) This is the ‘shift’ or the ‘jump’ that you want. But there is no easy way out of this, no experience you can have that will set you free of the need for a love object. To get free see that you are worthy of love. You need to investigate yourself and see if you really do need someone else to love you. Not at all, love is your nature. You are love yourself!
Knowing this will change your life. Believing it, will change everyone else's. That's because what you believe, you become, and when you become perfectly Self-Loving, you bring your Self, at last, the equipment (or tool) with which you can love all others, and that can change the world. In the experience of love/peace the mind dies. There is neither enjoyer nor enjoyed in it. There is only love/peace/happiness. It is an ego-free state. You are not getting peace/happiness by loving all, but loving all is itself peace/happiness. A humanitarian worker emphasizes the ‘all’ and misses love/peace; a Vedanthin emphasizes love/peace, his own nature, and misses or loses the ‘all' or the multiplicity!
What is the difference between sex, sexuality, love, and compassion?..........
Man has three layers: the body, the mind and the soul (gross body, subtle body and causal body). So whatever you do, you can do in three ways. Sex is love through the body, sexuality is sex through the mind. Love happens through the body and mind together, compassion happens through the soul. But the energy is the same. Sex is animalistic, love is human, compassion is divine. Sex is physical, love is psychological, compassion is beyond human.
Sex is the seed, love is the flower, compassion is the fragrance. The lowest love is sex and the highest refinement of love is compassion. Compassion is passion transformed. Passion is towards one person; compassion is towards the whole. Sex is below love, compassion is above love - love is exactly in the middle. You can have sex, you can have love, but you cannot have compassion. You can only become compassion, your very being is compassion. Compassion is not a relationship but a state. Buddha has defined compassion as love plus meditation or love plus awareness. When your love is a sharing - then add meditation to it and the pure fragrance of compassion is released.
There is nothing wrong with sex; it is a biological fact. It is the basic, primal energy that the universe is born with. It is natural, sacred, and beautiful. Sex needs to be understood and transcended. It should never be repressed. Repression leads to sexuality which is ugly. Sexuality is unnatural, abnormal, and pathological. Also when sex becomes cerebral, when sex enters in your head, it becomes sexuality. When people go beyond sex - not towards love - but in a negative way towards drugs, it becomes romantic sex. When you think about sex then you fantasize about sex. Since there is no limit to fantasy, it can never satisfy you. Repression and fantasizing are two sides of the same coin.
In love, body and mind meet: you become a unity, more of a unity. It is not only that you desire the other's body, but you desire the other's being - then there is love. When two bodies meet they are separate. But, when two minds meet their boundaries are overlapping. Love is healthy. Love is understanding. You love the person and sex comes as a shadow to it. You love the person so much, your energies meet with the person so deeply, you feel so good by the other's presence, the other's presence is so fulfilling - it completes you.
Love is the center with periphery, sex is the periphery without a center. Sex may or may not happen in love. If it happens, there is no hankering for it, it is just a sharing of energy. With center, the periphery is good. Without the center it becomes sexuality, with center alone it becomes romantic love. When body, mind and soul meet, then you have become a great unity. You have become a trinity. There is no other, you are one. The center is everywhere.
The so-called religious attitude toward sex has created a perverted sexuality, a culture that is completely neurotic sexually. It does not mean that by dropping sex one will achieve the divine. The person who has found diamonds throws the stones he was carrying, but the reverse of this is not true. You can throw away the stones, but that doesn't mean you have achieved something beyond it. Whether you come to sexuality through greed or fear does not matter, it is pathological.
The east has become ill through fear and repression; the west has become ill through greed and negative sex. Accept sex as a natural phenomenon. Sex accepted, understood, respected, lived becomes love. Love coupled with meditation or awareness becomes compassion.
Why is there sexual abuse in the world?..........
There is so much sexual abuse in the world because there is so much sexual repression in the world.
Humans have been taught from the time they were young to be ashamed of their body parts and to be embarrassed or guilty about their sexuality. It is also this idea that sexual abstinence is somehow the “higher way,” and that sexual expression is a “lower desire,” that has shamed the sexual experience, and caused all manner of guilt and dysfunction to develop around it. The result is that millions of people have sexual hang-ups that are awful.
Who is responsible for the repression? The society, the culture, the religion - they have been trying to keep men and women apart. They are pouring poison into the minds of human beings. More love can be seen in the birds, animals, and plants, who have no religion or culture, than in humans.
When religions proclaim that sex is unsacred and hence it has to be controlled by ones’ own effort, it is suppressed. Fear creates suppression and suppression creates fear. They feed off each other. Religions have exploited the fear of sex and they have made you more afraid. When one is afraid, he can easily be manipulated; that is very fundamental. This is the reason why religions use 'death' also as a fear to manipulate people. It all comes down to the tool of 'fear,'
Religions say that it is wrong, it is ugly, it is sin, and it will drag you to hell. They want to dominate you; that's why they are against sex. This way you remain ignorant about your true nature and can easily be controlled by the religions. They have made sex the basic sin and they say: Unless sex disappears, you will not be able to reach Reality. They are right, in a sense, and still wrong.
When we suppress an emotion, the energy of that emotion does not go away. Instead, it subsides -- it sinks deeper. If you hold enough of this stuff inside you, then you become energetically "stuffed up." Energy moves within the body in regular currents and beyond the body in radiant fields. As emotional suppression becomes an unconscious habit and emotional energy becomes stuffed inside, the free movement of vital energy gradually degrades.
This creates imbalance in your being. Suppression ultimately makes it to come out many times more intensely, like an obsession. Thus, people are more neurotic and perverted with anger, aggression, crime, etc. This is because it is the same energy that has taken an alternate manifestation due to centuries of suppression.
Sex should be accepted as a normal, natural thing in life - just as sleep, as hunger, as everything else. Sex is life energy. What you do with it depends on you. It can become sin, and it can become Reality. But the first principle is not to condemn sex. The moment you condemn anything, you cannot use it. Join sex with meditation. Sex without meditation can only reproduce children. Sex with meditation can give you love, can give you a new birth.
It is true that unless sex disappears you will not be able to reach Reality; but sex disappears only when you have accepted it totally - not suppressed, but transformed. Sex disappears only when you are inimical to sex. When one moves deeply into sex with meditation, the ego will be lost and you will become more and more aware. Then you can know the truth; no one will be able to control or manipulate you.
What is the difference between sex and meditation?..........
Now the most important meaning of sex has to be understood. Man had his first ever glimpse of 'samaadhi,' of meditation, only in moments of lovemaking-nowhere else. It was only in moments of lovemaking that human beings realized for the first time that so much Aananda was possible. Those who meditated on this truth, those who reflected deeply upon the phenomenon of sex, of lovemaking, saw that in moments of lovemaking, at the climax, the mind becomes empty of thoughts. For a moment, all thoughts disappear. This emptiness of the mind, this disappearance of thoughts, is the cause of the showering of Divine Fullness. They had discovered the secret.
People had also discovered the secret that if the mind could be freed from thoughts through some other process, the same Aananda can be attained. From this, they have developed the systems of yoga and of no-mind that gave birth to meditation. At the root of all this is the experience of lovemaking.
Thus, human beings came to experience that the mind can be stilled, that the mind can be freed of thoughts without going into sex and that the same bliss that happens in sex can be attained. Moreover, one can be in the experience of lovemaking only for a limited time because it is dissipation and release of energy, but one can remain in the experience of meditation continuously. One who attains to meditation/samaadhi experiences the same bliss what a couple experience in the moment of orgasm. In the end, there is no basic difference between the bliss of the two - sex and meditation.
Remember: Experiencing bliss is not the ultimate; Knowing that the bliss is "you" is the ultimate meditation/understanding!
Remember: Experiencing bliss is not the ultimate; Knowing that the bliss is "you" is the ultimate meditation/understanding!
Is it necessary to give up sex for spirituality?..........
Renouncing any part of yourself is denying an aspect of yourself that Reality has created.
Sex - and the beauty of sex, and the passion of sex, and the excitement of sex, and the wonder of sex, and the pure, unbridled joy and fun of sex - is something that Reality has given us. The purpose of sex is to share love and to celebrate life. A celebration is always a contribution, contribution of joy, contribution of hurting no one. Renouncing sex is to renounce Reality.
Therefore do not renounce sex, nor any of the good and wonderful and fun things that Reality has given us. Simply renounce any addiction you may have to these wonderful things in life. This is different from a requirement to live without them.
We hate violence, but EXpress violence by watching violent movies, by playing violent games, etc. We love sex, but REpress sexuality by not allowing anything romantic! What kind of choice is this?!
So you do not have to give up sex for spiritual growth. Not in the classic sense of the words “to give up.” It is not a forced letting go of something you still want but know is “no good to have.” It’s more of a simple releasing, a movement away from—as one pushes one-self away from the second helping of dessert. Not because the dessert is no good. Not even because it’s no good for you. But simply because, wonderful as it was, you’ve had enough.
When you can drop your involvement with sex for that reason, you may want to do
so. Then again, you may not. You may never decide that you’ve “had enough” and may always want this experience, in balance with the other experiences of your beingness. The sexually active are no less qualified for enlightenment, no less spiritually evolved, than the sexually inactive. What enlightenment and evolution do cause you to drop is your addiction to sex, your deep need to have the experience, your compulsive behavior.
Therefore, do not renounce sex; renounce sex-ness, your addiction/obsession for sex!
What is celibacy?..........
Celibacy is the transformed state of sex. If sex is the coal, celibacy is the diamond. The diamond does not have any enmity with the coal, it is only a transformation of the coal. It is a journey of the coal into a new dimension. Similarly, celibacy is not in opposition to sex, it is a transformation of sex. One who is inimical to sex can never attain to celibacy.
The term for celibacy in Sankrit is 'brahmacharya.' This word is really very difficult to translate. It has been translated as sexual continence, celibacy. That’s not right, because brahmacharya is a wide word, very vast. Sexual celibacy is a very narrow thing; it is one part of it but not the whole of it. The word brahmacharya means living like Reality, living like Brahman. The very word means living like Reality, living a life of the divine. Of course, in a life divine, sex automatically disappears.
Brahmacharya is not against sex. If it is against sex then sex can never disappear. Brahmacharya is a transmutation of the energy: it is not being against sex, rather it is changing the whole energy from the sex center to the higher centers. When it reaches to the seventh chakra center of man, the sahasraara, then brahmacharya happens. If it remains in the first center, the mulaadhaara, then sex; when it reaches to the seventh center, then samaadhi. The same energy moves. It is not being against it; rather, it is an art how to use it. A man who is indulging in sex is a suicidal man. He is destroying his own energy. He is like a man who goes to the market, gives his diamonds, and purchases pebbles – and comes home happy that he has made a great bargain! In sex you attain such a little, a tiny moment of happiness, and you lose so much energy. The same energy can give you tremendous blissfulness, but then it has to move on a higher level.
Sex has to be transformed - don't be against it. If you are against it you cannot transform it, because when you are inimical towards something you cannot understand it. Great sympathy is needed for understanding. If you are inimical, how can you give sympathy? When you are inimical to something, you cannot even observe it: you want to withdraw from your enemy, to escape from the enemy. No...be in friendship with your sex, because it is your energy with tremendous possibilities hidden in it. It is divine, in raw form. Sex is samaadhi, in raw form. It can be transmuted, it can be changed, it can be transfigured.
Sexual energy is as electrical as any energy. All energies are electrical, and sex energy is bioelectricity. It comes out of your body. In sex you create energy; by the sexual movement, fantasy, desire, you create energy. The whole energy moves around the mulaadhaara chakra, the sex center, concentrates there; then comes a peak, a buildup; then sudden explosion, a shock all over the body. Then peace follows. This peace is at a very great cost. You are destroying valuable life energy – for nothing.
Brahmacharya is to understand the whole phenomenon, what is happening. And if by shocks you become peaceful and you attain a little glimpse of happiness...this cannot be eternal. It can only be momentary. And soon the energy will be lost and then you will be frustrated. No, something else has to be found and discovered, something of the eternal, something so that you remain blissful. It cannot be through the shock; it can be only through the transmutation of the energy.
Sex is the flow of energy downward, celibacy is its upward journey. Love and meditation are the key to celibacy, brahmacharya. Those who have done research on sex have come to the conclusion that if orgasm lasts for one minute, a person will desire sex again the very next day, but if orgasm can be prolonged for seven minutes, the person will not even think of sex for a whole three months. And if the period can be extended to three hours, one will be free of sex forever; one will be celibate. Sex may still happen after that, but there is no hankering or obsession for it. It would be all natural and spontaneous.
The faster one's breathing during intercourse, the shorter the duration of it; the calmer and more relaxed one's breathing, the longer the duration of the intercourse. If you can come to a totally relaxed breathing, the duration of intercourse can be prolonged to any extent. And the longer intercourse lasts, the more the experience of the elements of superconsciousness - the egolessness and timelessness - begin to take place. Another thing to remember, if during the act of intercourse your awareness is focused between the eyes, where yoga says the third eye center is, the duration of lovemaking can be extended up to three hours!
Once sex has served the function of procreation, is there any more need for it?..........
One does not engage in sex because one realizes one’s responsibility to the human race to procreate. One engages in sex because it is the natural thing to do. It is built into the genes. Procreation is the happy aftereffect, not the logical forethought. Sex is for recreation (to re-create Who You Are), not for procreation!
You obey a biological imperative. The biological imperative is not to guarantee the survival of the species, but to experience the Oneness which is the true nature of your being. Creating new life is what happens when Oneness is achieved, but it is not the reason Oneness is sought.
If procreation were the only reason for sexual expression—if it were nothing more than a
'delivery system'—you would no longer need to engage in it with one another. You can unite
the chemical elements of life in a petri dish. Yet this would not satisfy the most basic urges of the soul, which it turns out, are much larger than mere procreation, but have to do with re-creation of Who and What You Really Are.
There is nothing ignoble, or unholy, about having sex. We have got to get that idea out of our minds, and out of your culture. There is nothing base, or gross, or 'less than dignified' (much less sanctified), about a passionate, desire-filled sexual experience. Physical urges are not manifestations of 'animalistic behavior.' Those physical urges were built into the system—by Nature, by Reality.
Remember, you are a three aspect being (body-mind-soul), with seven chakra centers. When you respond to one another from all three parts, and all seven centers, at the same time, then you have the peak experience you are looking for—that you have been created for! Whatever you are doing—having sex or having breakfast, going to work or walking the beach, jumping rope or reading a good book—whatever you are doing, do it as a whole being; as the whole being you are.
If you are having sex from only your lower chakra center, you are operating from the root
chakra alone, and missing by far the most glorious part of the experience. Yet if you are
being loving with another person and coming from all seven energy centers while you are
being that, now you are having a peak experience. How can this not be holy?
The biological imperative (for sex) is not to create more life, but to experience more life—and to experience that life as it really is: a manifestation of Oneness. That is why you will never stop people from having sex, even though they have long ago stopped having children.
Is consensual sex appropriate?..........
There is no form and there is no manner in which the expression of love that is pure and true is inappropriate. Any form of expression of pure love is not inappropriate!
Pure and true love is that which is without condition, without limitation, without need and it seeks to damage or hurt no one. If you love another, you will not do anything that you believe could or would hurt that person. If there is any question or doubt, ask yourself “What would love do now?”
How about “kinky” sex? Well, if it hurts no one, and is done with everyone’s permission, what reason would anyone have to call it “wrong?" If you are open, honest and truthful about a polygamous relationship - it is certainly an expression of joy and freedom.
How about "loveless" sex? Loveless anything is not the fastest way to Reality. Whether it's loveless sex or loveless spaghetti and meat balls, if you’ve prepared the feast and are consuming it without love, you’re missing the most extraordinary part of the experience.
Do not choose sex instead of love, but as a celebration of it. What does not serve you is to become addicted to sex (or anything else). But it is “okay” to fall in love with it. What enlightenment and evolution do cause you to drop is your addiction to sex, your deep need to have the experience, your compulsive behavior.
What is the difference between pleasure, happiness, peace, joy and Aananda?..........
Pleasure is physiological and is dependent on the other. It is the most superficial thing in life. Pleasure is rooted in your body. The body is your periphery; it is not your center. Since it is dependent on the other, you have created a bondage for yourself. Pleasure is periphery without a center. The opposite of pleasure is pain.
Happiness is psychological. It is little more refined. Pleasure is little primitive, animalistic; happiness is little more cultured, little more human - but it is the same game played in the world of the mind.
When you are happy, time moves fast. But remember: happiness is still in duality, happiness is still part of unhappiness. Happiness is worthless: Happiness depends on unhappiness. Happiness has no truth about it; it is only your dream. Your happiness is your idiosyncrasy; it may be unhappiness to somebody else. To somebody power is happiness; to somebody money is happiness; to somebody sex is happiness. It depends. Happiness is the center without periphery.
Peace is another name for happiness. Peace is happiness at rest; happiness is peace in movement. Happiness uninterrupted is peace. Happiness is the first ebullition or sensation of peace.
Joy is divine. It belongs to the heart. It has nothing to do with the other; it is inner. Joy is not dependent on circumstances; it is your own, but is still in duality. There is a 'I' that enjoys; subtlest form of being is still there. So if Buddha moves from town to town, he does so out of joy and not out of Aananda. It is a state of silence, a meditative state. Joy is the center with periphery. The opposite of joy (or consciousness) is ignorance. The joy of soul is to manifest Reality.
Aananda is permanent and total; inner and outer. Aananda can be defined as consciousness becoming aware of itself. When the innermost being and the outer behavior are in perfect harmony, then there is Aananda. It knows no division, it is indivisible. Aananda has no opposite. When Krishna goes to the people he does so out of his Aananda and not out of Compassion. Compassion is not his forte.
Aananda is the stateless state in which there is no second!
Aananda means you have reached to the very innermost core of your being; you have (your ego has) disappeared. Aananda is a state of being; it is ecstasy without excitement; it is ecstasy that is uncaused. Aananda is the center that is everywhere or nowhere in particular. Pleasure is momentary while Aananda is non-temporal or timeless. Aananda can only be experienced by being it, but can never be explained.
Pleasure and happiness begin and end. They have counterparts - pain and unhappiness. You cannot have one without having the other, they are inseparable. Sex is pleasure, love is happiness. Love can exist without sex, sex can exist without love. They can also exist together. Sex is in-built, love has to be evolved. You have to learn love, it is an art. Love is a luxury.
Animals, birds cannot have a taste of happiness; that is man's prerogative. Birds chirping, chitchatting is simply aliveness - overflowing of energy. They are simply happy because that is all they know. They cannot be unhappy. Their happiness is not their freedom - they have to be happy. They do not have a choice over happiness or unhappiness. They don't know how to be unhappy; there is no alternative. Their happiness is unconscious. It is simply natural.
If you go on watching the duality - pleasure and pain, happiness and unhappiness - a third force arises in you, a third dimension arises in you. It is called the witness, the saakshi. And this third dimension brings you joy.
Joy without duality is Aananda. Aananda is without any opposite to it. It is serene, tranquil, cool. Aananda abides forever. It is our nature.
Why is inner peace more important than the outer heaven?..........
One can experience heaven in the outer world only when one has attained peace in the inner world. You cannot experience heaven in the outer world when you experience hell in your inner world. Yes, it is possible to attain peace in the inner world, when there is hell in the outer world. It is interesting to know that once you attain peace in the inner world, the hell in the outer world no more feels like hell. On the other hand, if you attain heaven in the outer world, while there is hell in your inner world, the heaven in the outer world does not feel like heaven!
What is pity and what is compassion?..........
Pity is passion directed. Compassion is passion transformed; compassion is open, it is simply overflowing. Pity is circumstantial, and compassion is the outcome of a psychological state. They are fundamentally different. Compassion will go on emanating from the heart of a compassionate person even if he is sitting alone. It is like a flower blossoming in solitude; it will go on spreading its fragrance. It has nothing to do with any passerby. What arises in you when you see a beggar on the streets is pity; it is not compassion. Pity strengthens the ego whereas compassion dissolves it. Pity is the act of a good man's ego and cruelty is the act of a bad man's ego.
Ego strengthens itself with bad acts as well as good acts. And it often happens that only when the ego has had no opportunity to strengthen itself with good acts that it tries to nourish itself with bad acts. Both good people and bad people are tethered to the same axis called the ego. The only difference between the "good" and "bad" people is that the bad person will hurt others to fulfill his ego and the good person will hurt himself to fulfill his ego. But as far as hurting is concerned, there is no difference between the two.
Is Thanthra against Vedantha?..........
What is Thanthra? Thanthra is a technique, and the most natural, to experience the bliss of Reality through body, through sex, through love (Sanskrit's meaning: 'thun'=to expand, 'thra'=instrument; body used as an instrument to expand or realize the infinite nature; thanthra also means a system or methodology or scripture or word or strategy in Sanskrit). The objective in Thanthra is to become so completely instinctual, so mindless, that we merge with ultimate nature - that the woman disappears and becomes a door for the ultimate, the man disappears and becomes a door for the ultimate. You are first your body. Thanthra teaches reverence for the body, love for the body, respect for the body, gratitude for the body. The body is marvelous, it is the greatest of mysteries.
Thanthra is not against Vedantha. Thanthra is a different approach than Vedantha. In Vedantha, the initial step is to move away from objects (before you merge back into objects to realize that the objects are also you). In Thanthra, you move into and through the objects right from the beginning. It is like turning off television to see the screen versus seeing the screen through the images. Final Truth is the same in both the approaches that there is nothing to the images other than that they are the screen.
Vedanthic path is inward whereas the Thanthric path is outward. Both paths have their strengths and weaknesses. The strength of the Vedanthic path is that it is direct and short. The possible danger is that you may get stuck with the denial of the body and the world promoting aloofness in the initial/first step, like many yogis do. The strength of the Thanthric path is that you are always with the experience where you don't get separated. The danger on the Thanthric path, however, is that people may get lost in their states and experiences and can never get to realize their essential nature. And this danger of Thanthra is more likely to occur.
In the east, people became aware that if you become meditative while making love, the quality of sex changes and something new enters into it - it becomes prayerful, it becomes Thanthric, it becomes samaadhi. The founder of Thanthra is Saraha, a monk that appeared two centuries after Buddha in Buddha's line of teaching. Saraha was the disciple of Nagarjuna. Thanthra is not a philosophy. Thanthra is absolutely existential. The most basic thing about Thanthra is this – and very radical, revolutionary, rebellious – the basic vision is that the world is not divided into the lower and the higher, not divided into the body and the soul, but that the world is one piece. The higher and the lower are holding hands.
The higher includes the lower, and the lower includes the higher. The higher is hidden in the lower – so the lower has not to be denied, has not to be condemned, has not to be destroyed or killed. The lower has to be transformed. The lower has to be allowed to move upwards…and the lower becomes the higher. There is no unbridgeable gap between the devil and Reality: the devil is carrying Reality deep down in his heart. Once that heart starts functioning, the devil becomes Reality. That is the reason why the very root of the word devil means the same as divine. The word devil comes from the root 'divine;' it is the divine not yet evolved, that's all. So, allow the sex energy to become the divine energy!
The whole world drama is created so that we could know Who We Really Are in our own experience, in relative terms. It's also been designed to help us forget Who We Really Are, so that we might remember Who We Really Are once again, and create it. What we used here to help us forget is what some of us would call the Pleasure Principle. The highest nature of all pleasures is that aspect of pleasure which causes us to create Who We Really Are in our experience right here, right now - and also to re-create, again and again, Who We Really Are at the next highest level of magnificence!
The lower nature of all pleasures is that part of pleasure which causes you to forget Who We Really Are. Do not, therefore, condemn the lower nature, for without it, we could not experience the higher. You cannot experience Peace/Happiness without losing it first. It's almost as if the pleasures of the flesh at first cause us to forget Who We Really Are, then become the very avenue through which we remember Who We Really Are! And the use of physical pleasure as an avenue (which is Thanthra's approach) to remembering Who We Really Are is achieved by raising up, through the body, the basic energy of all life.
This is the energy which we sometimes call 'sexual energy,' and it is raised up along the inner column of our being, until it reaches the area we call the third eye (the Aagnya Chakra, the Master Chakra, in between the two eyes about half an inch deeper). As we raise this energy, we cause it to course it all through our body (this is also called the raising of kundalini). It is like inner orgasm exploding at the third eye center which is the highest pleasure of Reality, the bliss! From there, all we need is one more short step. Inquire and know who is aware of this bliss?! That's the final step in Thanthra. And this final step is the merging of Thanthra into Vedantha!
- Sudhakar V Reddy
For Further Reading:
Esoterics of GOD-The Reality! And How to Realize IT?
https://sudhakarvreddy.blogspot.com/2018/04/esoterics-of-god.html
Esoterics of Death and Life After Death!
https://sudhakarvreddy.blogspot.com/2017/12/esoterics-of-death-and-life-after-death.html
Esoterics of the Seven Bodies of Man!
https://sudhakarvreddy.blogspot.com/2013/09/esoterics-of-seven-bodies-mysteries-of_2.html
